It was very hard for me to share with anyone that I was extremely lonely a few months back. I felt like there was no way I could be consumed with such heavy feelings being as though I always had someone around. That is the irony in it all. It doesn’t matter if you are surrounded by people because loneliness has no boundaries.
While in my state of loneliness I realized that the family that I thought I was close to did not know the ‘adult’ me at all. I didn’t feel supported nor did I receive a monthly phone call or email. No one knows except the people who I had to choose as my family, what I go through in my daily life.
I wish that I could tell them how disappointed I am at the lack of support. I feel like because I am different and am not limited to a conventional 9-to-5 or government job that I am not favored in their eyes. I don’t understand how I have not received a visit from anyone, not even for a day. It is not like I live in Zimbabwe or Beirut. I will not get it and I probably never will. I don’t feel like I am asking for much. Thank God for my friends that have come to visit me and see how I now live.
When I moved I left behind a life that I will never go back to. I am much stronger now than I have ever been. It took months of feeling alone and uncertain of my future. As I look back I am thankful that I finally know the truth. That truth is that just because you are born into a large family does not mean that you will have their unconditional love, devotion, and support.